Happiness

Making Big Decisions and Living Your Dreams

I’m kind of a dreamer. A dreamer and a doer, really. I always have been. It’s part of who I am. I just love to see what possibilities hold and I’ve somehow found the confidence to just make big leaps and see what happens. But there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes in a dreamer’s world. Making decisions is at the center of it all, and a lot of those are big decisions.

I get asked a lot on Instagram how I make those decisions. How do we sell our house and box it up in a matter of weeks, not exactly knowing where we will land? Or how did I decide to write and sell a cookbook, or have Ammon quit his job so we could pursue some career opportunities I had coming my way? I’ve always had a bit of a method to my madness and decided to spill the beans on some of the ways I sort it all out and settle on what feels best.

Talk it out

Talk about the decision with anyone the decision will directly affect (your partner, children, parents, etc.). Listen to their opinions. Ask the people you love and trust most for their advice, or even consult a trusted expert.

Jesus, Take the Wheel

Are you singing the Carrie Underwood song? I belt it out when I’m trying to make a big decision! Seriously though, prayer and meditation have helped me make countless decisions. I truly believe that God and the Universe want what’s best for all of us. I pray, then listen with my heart and trust my feelings. Going out into nature, attending the temple, or visiting another sacred place to you may help.

Lean into the fear

I believe that the more afraid a choice makes you, the more you should DO IT. Just take the leap. If it ends up being a mistake, it’s a mistake. Life’s too short. When deciding whether or not to move far from family, my husband would always say, “Worst case scenario we sell the place and move back.”

Do Your Homework

Research your choices. What are they? Are there other options or compromises you hadn’t considered? Is this a financial decision? Can you afford it? Crunch those numbers. Is now the right time? If not, when? Write everything down and make a pros and cons list.

Take a Step Back

Sometimes listening to everyone’s advice and researching things to death leaves me feeling more confused than ever! If that happens, take a step back, sleep on it, or go do something you enjoy. Take your mind off of the problem for a bit, and come back when you’re feeling refreshed and ready. A little distance from it can give you fresh eyes on the situation.

Go With Your Gut

There are many ways to test your gut reaction. Flip a coin! Were you hoping for heads or tails? I think we often know what our decision should be, but it takes seeing how you feel if things went the other way to know for sure.

Look at the Bigger Picture

Is this decision in line with your long term goals? If it is and gets you closer to where you want to be 5 or 10 years from now, do it! If you’re unsure, set those longer-term goals first and then see where this current decision will take you.

I also asked my Instagram followers a little while ago how they made big decisions and I loved the responses and wanted to share them here:

  • The more fear you have about something = the more you should DO IT
  • This sounds crazy but I decide which option feels more fun! God will stop you if it’s not right
  • Just do the thing! Regroup after a while to see if it was right or wrong
  • Decide. Wait 24 hours and if you can’t feel peace about it, make the other choice
  • Move forward and it’ll fall into place like a puzzle, or you’ll get an unsettling feeling and change
  • Close your eyes, deep breaths, and imagine your future
  • What will be best for your kids?
  • Pull the decision out of a hat… seriously!
  • Go on a walk with your partner and chat about all of the possibilities
  • Have a drink… lol
  • I test decide the opposite. If I am relieved or dismayed, that is good information.
  • Trust your intuition
  • Do a lot of research and ask lots of questions
  • Radical acceptance. What if’s stop decision making and limit our power of choice
  • If I was 100 and looking back on my life at this moment, would I be proud that I took this risk?
  • Break a wish bone
  • Talk to your kids. Even being little they still have emotions and opinions
  • Magic 8 ball
  • Y.O.L.O
  • Get a life coach
  • If I see me happy there in the long run I go for it
  • I think about the very first feeling I had regarding the decision
  • CBD GUMMIES
  • Therapy
  • I consult a trusted expert
  • I move forward because standing still doesn’t get you answers
  • I make a vision board
  • Just have faith
  • Make baby steps in a direction and see where it takes you
  • Journaling helps you pull out and dissect how you really feel about something
  • Sleep on it. You often have a fresh perspective in the morning
  • Take your time, making sure not to rush anything
  • Write out regrets for both sides and see which one is worse
  • Just take the leap! If it ends up being a mistake, it’s a mistake. Life’s too short to sit there and wonder.

I hope these were helpful for you! Honestly, I’ve rarely regretted just going for something. I think my confidence in decision-making comes from doing it a lot and learning from my triumphs and my failures. The worst case scenario very rarely happens, and even if things don’t go as you planned, it all usually turns into something better than you even imagined. So make those big decisions! Step into the dark. Go for your dreams and see what happens!

Join the Conversation

More You'll Love

Abi

Wedding Disasters

Dear Abi: I’m in the middle of wedding planning and I...
Read Post
Abi

Honey, I Pooped My Pants

The last Dear Abi question was about pooping your pants in public and it was…
Read Post
Abi

Connecting to Your Family with Melissa Smith and Family Brand

Ammon and I have been hanging out with Melissa Smith from the Family Brand podcast…
Read Post
Abi

My Favorite French Toast, As Seen In Cookbook For Jane

I’ve always loved any kind of French toast, but my all-time favorite has to be…
Read Post
Abi

Hello, I’m Abi Ayres aka #Carol4President

My name is Abi and I got a bad haircut.
Read Post
Abi

My Favorite French Toast, As Seen In Cookbook For Jane

I’ve always loved any kind of French toast, but my all-time favorite has to be…
Read Post
Beauty

Gift Guide for Her

Read Post
Cookbook

Cookbook for Jane

You should know right from the start that I made this cookbook more for me…
Read Post
Family

Family is everything and an introduction to mine

I was 17 and my parents made a phone call…to Planned Parenthood. And it wasn’t…
Read Post
Abi

Wedding Disasters

Dear Abi: I’m in the middle of wedding planning and I...
Read Post
Abi

Connecting to Your Family with Melissa Smith and Family Brand

Ammon and I have been hanging out with Melissa Smith from the Family Brand podcast…
Read Post
Abi

My Favorite French Toast, As Seen In Cookbook For Jane

I’ve always loved any kind of French toast, but my all-time favorite has to be…
Read Post
Experience

Experience Gifts

Read Post
Beef

Gift Guide for Preppers

Read Post
Beef

Grasshopper or Ant?

Do you remember the story about the ants and the grasshopper? You know, the one…
Read Post
Abi

Wedding Disasters

Dear Abi: I’m in the middle of wedding planning and I...
Read Post
Abi

Honey, I Pooped My Pants

The last Dear Abi question was about pooping your pants in public and it was…
Read Post