Relationships

Falling In Love Again and Again

Talking comes naturally to some people and not so naturally to others. As you can probably guess, it comes pretty naturally to me. But believe it or not, I do still find myself without words sometimes, and most commonly when I’m with Ammon. Crazy, right? It’s just that sometimes I feel like I already know everything there is to know about Ammon. But then we start talking and I find that I feel totally out of the loop with him! Can you relate?

I think that we sometimes forget that we’ve become different people since we were first married. We feel like we already got to know each other and that part of the relationship is over, when in fact, we’re always changing and evolving. That’s one of the beautiful things about life and relationships; we have the ability to continually become better versions of ourselves and support our loved ones as they do the same. I don’t want to miss out on any of the amazing versions of Ammon that are yet to come because I got too comfortable and didn’t take the time to connect with him. Focusing on that has helped me see my relationship in a whole new light. 

A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE REQUIRES FALLING IN LOVE

MANY TIMES, ALWAYS WITH THE SAME PERSON.

 

– MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN

Connection in any relationship is so important. It’s the little conversations that add up. The little moments that make a lasting impact. I thought I’d write down a list of deeper questions you can ask your significant other anytime you have 10 minutes together. It’s made a huge difference to our relationship over this last year as I have tried to ask about deeper topics with Ammon. We always end up chatting for much longer when I ask thoughtful questions and it has grown our love in many ways.

Because this has been such a game changer for us I decided to compile 50 questions that’ll spark conversation and help you get to know anyone more deeply. Whether it’s the first date or your 50th anniversary, it’s never too late to get to know your partner a little better. 

  1. What is the hardest thing you’re going through right now? How can I help?
  2. What can I do better to validate you as a partner or friend?
  3. What is something on your “bucket list” that you haven’t done, and why is it important to you? 
  4. What are your top 3 favorite things we do together? 
  5. If you could have any profession in the world, what would it be?
  6. What are your favorite talents/hobbies you have?
  7. What is something you daydream about?
  8. If you had 10 hours of uninterrupted time and unlimited money, what would you do?
  9. What is one thing you wish you knew how to do?
  10. What 3 things give you anxiety? 
  11. What 3 things bring you joy?
  12. What is something you know is good for you but you hate doing? 
  13. Fill in the blank – I would give up _______ for ________.
  14. Do you feel fulfilled? What prevents you from feeling fulfilled? What makes you feel fulfilled?
  15. Would you rather have more money or more time? What would you do with more of what you picked?
  16. What is the most important thing you did today?
  17. What is something you know 100% is true? 
  18. What do you consider to be your core values?
  19. If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be and why?
  20. If we had to move out of state, which state would you move to and why?
  21. What is your dream vacation? Tell me where we would go and what we would do. 
  22. When was the last time you felt deeply loved and how was that shown to you?
  23. Do you know that I love you or I’m trying to love you? 
  24. How do you show me that you love me? 
  25. What is a secret you haven’t told many people?
  26. What is your biggest fear?
  27. What is stopping you from living a better life? 
  28. What are the most important ways to connect to me and how can I best connect to you?
  29. What is one thing you would die for?
  30. What are the 3 most important qualities in a friend?
  31. Do you feel alone? Why?
  32. Do you feel scared? Why?
  33. If you went to a therapist what is something you’d talk to them about?
  34. What types of feelings do you experience while we’re intimate? 
  35. Can I be a better lover to you? How?
  36. What is something you wish I focused on more? 
  37. What is something you wish you knew sooner?
  38. What is your biggest regret? 
  39. What is one thing you want to accomplish this month and how can I help you do it?
  40. What is something you want less of? How can we take more things off your plate?
  41. If we could hire someone to do something for you weekly or daily or yearly, what would it be?
  42. Will you stare into my eyes for 1 full minute and tell me what you love about me?
  43. Will you hold my hand and tell me why you married me? 
  44. Can I tell you 10 reasons why I love you?
  45. What are you really enjoying lately?
  46. What is something you’re the most proud of doing in the last month?
  47. What is a skill you wish you had?
  48. What would you tell your 10-year-old self if you could? What about your 80-year-old self?
  49. What is your favorite part of the day and why? Favorite part of the week?
  50. What makes us a good team?

I hope you all start some wonderful conversations with your loved ones this week. And please share your favorite questions for getting a conversation started in the comments. Love you!

xo,

Abi

Recipes

Blackberry White Chocolate Mocha

This is such a nostalgic drink for me. When I was in college I worked as a barista in a small little coffee shop called Caffe Ibis in Logan, Utah. It was (and still is) everything you imagine when you think of the perfect little coffee shop. There was a small, but insanely delicious deli attached to it that served soups, salads and sandwiches, but the Ibis, as we called it, was mainly for drinks. Caffe Ibis actually produces their coffee in a huge plant located in Logan, Utah and is known worldwide for their beans, so having a small but truly remarkable little shop was so smart. Each barista was a veteran and it was actually really hard to get a position there because people never left. I also worked in Park City, Utah at a different coffee shop that bought and sold Caffe Ibis beans, so my boss pulled some strings and I got the job up there when I moved to Logan for college.

Our Most Loyal Customer

Anyway, we got so good at remembering people’s drink orders that the minute we saw their car drive up the espresso shots were being pulled and the milk was being foamed. We knew all the regulars and the tips were amazing.

Twice a day we had a regular come in. He was a gruff old man in his 60’s who always wore dirty jeans and a cowboy hat. I don’t remember his name, but I will never forget his drink. He always ordered a large blackberry and white chocolate mocha breve with 6 shots. Let’s dissect this just a little if you’re not versed in Barista jargon: 

First, a large cup was 16 ounces – the same as a small McDonald’s soda, interestingly enough. Blackberry is not a normal syrup. Like, rarely do people order drinks with blackberry in them unless it’s an Italian soda, but whatever, it works. Next is a white chocolate mocha which literally just means white chocolate. Next is a breve – this is telling the barista that the type of milk he is requesting is pure cream. Breve = full on HEAVY CREAM! Next is 6 shots. A regular large calls for 3 shots of espresso, and he always ordered 6! I was surprised his heart could handle that! Espresso is a super concentrated amount of coffee/caffeine from the darkest roast of coffee beans. And he didn’t just order one per day, he always had one in the morning and one in the evening. This drink literally cost him like $10, twice a day, everyday. 

This is my tribute to one of the kindest, most loyal customers ever, who had the weirdest order. But the truth is, the white chocolate and blackberry really is a divine combo. He was onto something! For all you coffee drinkers, I legit dare you to buy this next time and film yourself drinking it for the rest of us to see. For those of you that wanna make it at home, here’s the recipe.

Print

Blackberry White Chocolate Mocha

Blackberry and white chocolate pair perfectly in this creamy and delicious warm drink.
Course Drinks
Keyword blackberry, milk, mocha, pero, white chocolate
Servings 1 serving

Equipment

  • saucepan or kettle
  • electric milk frother
  • mug

Ingredients

  • 2 cups milk Please note that oat and nut milks don’t foam well.
  • 1 shot Pero or espresso optional
  • white chocolate sauce
  • blackberry syrup
  • 1 teaspoon Thrive Life blackberries crushed

Instructions

  • Heat milk on the stove until steaming. Do not let it come to a boil.
  • Use an electric frother to froth the milk.
  • Drizzle white chocolate sauce into a mug.
  • Add one shot Pero or espresso to mug (optional).
  • Pour blackberry syrup into mug. I use about 3 tablespoons.
  • Pour in frothed milk to fill the mug. You may need to spoon the froth on top afterward.
  • Top with crushed freeze dried blackberries.
  • Stir and enjoy!

Hope you all enjoy this drink as much as I do! Be sure to tag me in stories if you make it for yourself!

xoxo,

Abi

Happiness

Hot Girl Summer

We are all gonna have a hot girl summer this year. ALL. OF. US. There’s no good reason you shouldn’t enjoy some time in the sun while wearing a swimsuit this year! Whether you’re in your backyard playing with the kids, or lounging at the public pool, your body type has nothing to do with enjoying yourself. I used to spend way too much time worrying if other people were judging my lumps, curves, rolls or pubic hair coming out the sides of my suit. I am telling you right now, WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOUR BODY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Let them look. Let them project their insecurities. Let them do them, and let you do you!

Missing Out

Last year when I showed off my body in a swimsuit on my IG for the first time, I was shocked and amazed at how many women (and a few men) told me they had NEVER owned a swimsuit! Some people have never even tried one on! It made my head spin. I had no clue that showing myself in a swimsuit could inspire people to try one on for the first time! So many women reported back that they wanted to live more openly and happily inside their own skin. So many people long to jump in the pool and play with their kids, but they don’t because they don’t believe their body fits the “norm.” I cried. Ammon and I both cried. Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t good enough, that you aren’t thin enough, or that you aren’t worthy enough. The memories, quality time, laughter and fun you’re withholding from yourself and your loved ones are too precious to miss.

When I was a teen my body did not look like my peers. I was always bigger. I knew that the cute guys at the pool probably weren’t looking at me, and if they were I was 100% on my tummy sun bathing my back because I was so self conscious of my tummy. 

Letting Go

I vividly remember the day I threw my hands in the air and gave it all away. I jumped in the pool, made a huge splash, and from that moment on, I let it all go! I let go of the fear, the insecurities and the relentless pressure. I know it’s easier said than done. It takes work and practice. But when I feel negative thoughts slipping in, I feel them for a minute, recognize that they don’t serve me and let them slip away as fast as they came.

An aha moment for me was when my good friend (the skinniest, sexiest one) asked me this simple question – Would you want to be with a man that judged you for your body? As I thought about it, I realized that the dudes who were judging me in my swimsuit poolside, were probably not the type of guys I would want to be with. I want to be with the guys who are swimming alongside me, drinking piña coladas and having a blast.

Now that I’m older and I don’t care what other adults think, I recognize that I do care a lot about what I’m teaching my children. And about what they are learning just by watching me. I’m thankful I’ve been able to learn to love my body, to have fun with my body, to laugh and play and enjoy my body. I hope everyone of you can get to that place. Practice makes perfect. Get the swimsuit, jump in the pool and just let go! Try it and I bet you’ll realize really fast that those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

The thing is, it’s all up to you. It’s up to you to make the choice of how you want to live and what you want to do. Don’t allow others to make that decision for you. I love you and you’re not alone! You’re gonna have the hottest girl summer ever!

And if you want to shop any of the swimsuits I’ll be wearing all summer you can do that here. I’m obsessed with Coral Reef! They sell gorgeous, sexy, high quality, and size inclusive swimsuits for women and kids. I can’t even tell you how many I’ve bought for me and my girls… it’s A LOT.

xo,

Abi